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What Words To Comfort The Loss Of A Child |
My youngest daughter recently lost her 2 1/2-month-old baby boy to what doctors assume to have been SIDS (Sudden Infant Death Syndrome). He just went to sleep and stopped breathing. Last year, one of my little sisters lost her 22-year-old son to a gunshot wound to his face. We still do not know the facts about that. I cried with them. I prayed for them. My heart broke for them. I wanted so badly to say something to help them feel better. I reminded them that their children are with Jesus and we will see them again one day. “But I miss him now. I want to hold him and be with him now. I cannot see my life without him in it.” was their response. I am sure I would feel the same.
A natural feeling they had was anger at God. “How could He let this happen? I thought He was a loving God. How could a loving God allow this?” I realized there are no words to make it better. I found myself grieving for their pain and I had no answers for them.
I later remembered that there are five stages in the grieving process: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. Everyone may not go through all the stages or go through them the same way, and they may not happen in that order. I do not believe that a parent can ever ‘get over’ the loss of a child. I think about events that will trigger the hurt repeatedly, such as birthdays and memories of past holidays celebrated together.
Loss of a loved one is devastating to everyone, but grieving the loss of a child is much more intense. It is a lifelong process where the parents have to try to absorb the loss and make it part of their lives. It frightens me to think that some parents take their own lives or resort to numbing their pain with alcohol or drugs. The pain is too unbearable for them.
I have come to understand that the best thing I can do is just be there for my daughter and my sister. Sometimes they will need someone to listen while they vent. Other times they will need someone to hold them and cry with them. And, at some point, they will probably need some guidance to getting professional help. There are great support groups so they will see that they are not alone in their healing process. Moreover, I understand that I cannot make it ‘all better’.
By: Anna Hodges
Anna Hodges is a work at home mom who offers writing services. To learn more about her and her offerings, please visit her website at: www.annasversatilewriting.com
Article source http://w4rum.com/1934.t
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| [By Kimber Fulcher] [05/May/07] |
